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SheThrives. Be unstoppable.
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SheThrives. Be unstoppable.

All The Things You Wish You Could Say To Your Ex But Never Should

Navigating the Temptation to Text Your Ex and Why Sometimes Silence Is Golden

· Self Care and Mental Health,Be Connected

You've been there, haven't you? Scrolling through your contacts, your thumb hovering over that one name you know you shouldn't tap. Oh, the temptation to spill your guts to your ex! We've all felt that urge. But today, let's explore why sometimes keeping those unsent texts in your draft folder is the best self-love you can show.

According to a survey by OnePoll, 54% of people think about their ex at least once a month.

That's a lot of unsent texts, wouldn't you say?

The Texts We Long to Send

From the scathing "I never liked your friends" to the all-time classic "I've always faked it," there are countless things we'd love to get off our chests. But what are we actually accomplishing by pressing 'send'? Catharsis? Maybe. Creating unnecessary drama? Most likely.

Don't text your ex

1. "You Never Deserved Me"

While this message feels empowering, remember that self-worth isn't measured by another's recognition of it. Let your thriving life speak for itself.

2. "I'm So Much Happier Now"

Though it might be tempting to show how you've flourished post-breakup, focus on living your joy rather than using it as a point to prove.

3. "I Never Loved You"

Ah, the brutal honesty card. This is the emotional equivalent of nuclear warfare and rarely leads to anything good.

Author Cheryl Strayed captures the essence of unspoken feelings beautifully:

"You don't have to get over it, but you do have to get on with it."

The Emotional Cost

Emotional energy is a precious commodity. Every text sent or call made is emotional labour. Is it worth investing in someone who's already shown they're not the right match for you?

Research from Wayne State University shows that maintaining emotional ties with an ex can be linked to lower quality in your current relationship.

The Digital Age Dilemma

The digital world creates an illusion that everyone's life is an open book, making it all too easy to spy on your ex. Remember, social media is a highlights reel. You're not seeing their struggles or regrets, only their carefully curated victories.

"Disconnect to reconnect. Often what's not said makes the most profound statement." - Arianna Huffington

The Benefits of Silence

Remaining silent when you're itching to speak your mind is a form of emotional intelligence. Let's look at what you gain:

  1. Self-Empowerment: Silence can be an assertive act, affirming your independence.
  2. Closure: Sometimes, not seeking validation from someone who wronged you is the closest thing to closure you'll get.
  3. Maturity: Resisting the urge to fire off that text shows emotional maturity and self-control.

A 2021 study by The Journal of Sex Research indicates that 'post-relationship friendships' often have ulterior motives like unresolved romantic desires.

The Takeaway: Letting Go and Holding On

The one text that is worth sending? One to yourself. Remind yourself of your strength, your worth, and your capacity to move on. As Rupi Kaur puts it:

"The right one does not stand in your way; they make space for you to step forward."

So, go on, grab that phone, but instead of texting your ex, why not text a friend, a family member or even send a little love note to yourself? Trust us, that’s the kind of message that truly deserves to be sent.

  1. OnePoll, "The Frequency of Thinking About Exes", 2022.
  2. Wayne State University, "Emotional Attachment to Ex-Partners", 2020.
  3. The Journal of Sex Research, "Post-Relationship Friendships", 2021.

 

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