“Boys will be boys.” “She’s such a little princess.” “That’s not very ladylike.”
These phrases, often uttered without malice, are staples in many households. They seem harmless, even endearing. But beneath their surface lies a reinforcement of traditional gender roles that can limit children's perceptions of themselves and others.
The Subtle Transmission of Gender Norms
Parents play a pivotal role in shaping their children's understanding of the world. Through daily interactions, they convey beliefs, expectations, and norms. When mothers consistently associate certain behaviours or preferences with a specific gender—like encouraging daughters to play with dolls and sons with trucks—they may inadvertently instil limiting beliefs about what is appropriate or acceptable for each gender.
A study published in Psicothema found that mothers' attitudes significantly influence their children's perceptions of gender roles. The research indicated that children often adopt the gender biases of their mothers, perpetuating a cycle of stereotypical thinking.
Understanding Internalised Sexism
Internalised sexism refers to the involuntary belief by women of the sexist messages that are present in our culture. This can manifest in various ways, such as believing that men are better leaders or that women's primary value lies in their appearance. When mothers hold these beliefs, even subconsciously, they can pass them on to their children through comments, expectations, and behaviours.
For instance, praising a daughter solely for her looks while commending a son for his achievements can send a message about what is valued in each gender. Over time, these messages can shape children's self-worth and aspirations.
The Impact on Children's Development
Children internalise the messages they receive, which can influence their interests, confidence, and career aspirations. Girls who are consistently told to be quiet or accommodating may struggle with assertiveness, while boys discouraged from expressing emotions might find it challenging to develop emotional intelligence.
Research from PsyPost indicates that parents who endorse sexist beliefs tend to display reduced responsiveness to their children during family interactions. This lack of responsiveness can hinder children's emotional development and reinforce rigid gender norms.
Challenging and Changing the Narrative
Awareness is the first step toward change. Mothers—and all caregivers—can reflect on the language they use and the expectations they set. Encouraging children to explore a range of activities, expressing emotions freely, and valuing traits like empathy and resilience in all children can foster a more inclusive environment.
It's also beneficial to challenge traditional narratives. For example, instead of saying, “You throw like a girl,” which implies weakness, one might say, “Great effort! Let's keep practising to improve.” Such shifts in language can have a profound impact on children's self-perception.
While societal norms have long dictated specific roles for men and women, it's essential to recognise and challenge the subtle ways these norms are perpetuated, especially within the home. By fostering an environment of equality and open-mindedness, mothers can play a crucial role in shaping a more inclusive future for their children.
References:
- Goudreau, J. (2011). Are Mothers Most Responsible For Sexist Attitudes? Forbes.
- Dolan, E. W. (2023). New study links sexist attitudes in both mothers and fathers to reduced responsiveness in parenting. PsyPost.
- Ambivalent sexism. Wikipedia.
- Internalized sexism. Wikipedia.